


Neon Lights, Arcade Nights

by dino_friends_personal_space



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Arcade AU, Incomplete!! There's 5 planned chapters total
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dino_friends_personal_space/pseuds/dino_friends_personal_space
Summary: HLVRAI AU where Tommy owns an arcade
Relationships: Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 20
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you party-pikachu for having the initial idea for this fic!

The arcade was the place to be! Tommy knew this from first hand experience. In fact, he owned the place. The multi-colored patterns on the floor, the glow from the black light cause all the colors to come alive and dance, the crash of bowling pins and the smell of greasy pizza in the air--it was his home, where he spent all his time. It was his little pocket of colorful chaos. 

Tommy was cleaning one of the arcade machines where someone spilled soda when the door swung open. Oh good! Some people! Today was a slow day though it was expected because it was midday on a Wednesday. A dark-haired man walked in with a small child that was the spitting image of him. Despite grey streaking his hair, the man looked to be in his late 20s or at most early 30s. 

The pair approached the counter and purchased a bag of play coins for the arcade. After he passed the bag of coins over, he watched as the man ruffled the kid’s hair before dropping the bag into his hands allowing him to run off. Tommy let out a small chuckle at the kid’s excited reaction to the glowing lights he was so fond of. He saw the other man leaning against the counter, arms crossed looking affectionately at the kid. 

Tommy thought that was a little atypical. Usually, most of the parents that came in anxiously hovered over their child, sometimes even taking the game from the child and playing for them basically taking all the fun out of the arcade and instead turning it into work. 

Tommy straightened up and cleared his voice when the other man noticed his staring. 

“Is that your son?” Tommy asked, slightly panicked. 

“Yeah.” The other man said, nodding. The two glanced at the game the boy is playing--a cowboy themed one. “His name’s Joshua. He loves cowboys beyond belief. He wouldn’t stop bugging me to come here when he saw there was a cowboy game.” 

“Yeah, cowboys are cool.” Tommy said, chuckling. “He must have bothered you pretty badly to make you come here on a Wednesday. Usually, most parents bring their kids on Fridays.”

“Hm? Oh, Joshie had a doctor’s appointment today and it’s a little too late to return back to school at this point.” 

The two sat there in silence except for the noise coming from the arcade machines. Eventually, Tommy spoke up.

“Well, aren’t you gonna-- would you like to try any games, sir?” Tommy asked, beaming. “We got lots about space aliens and dancing.”

The other man shyly shook his head, a small smile crossing his face. A strand of hair once behind his ear fell to cover his face slightly.

“I haven’t really played any games since high school. Plus, I don’t wanna take the fun away from Joshua.” The man said. 

“No worries, I can fix that!” Tommy said, grinning. “Watch this!” 

Tommy leaned over the counter slightly, and brushed his hand behind Gordon’s ear, tucking the loose strand back into place. Then, Tommy pulled away to show that there was now a play coin within his hands. 

“You had this behind your ear!” Tommy said, beaming. The man’s surprised face relaxed and he let out a chuckle, accepting the coin Tommy held out to him. He complimented his trick and asked how much the coin was for. “No worries, it’s on the house. Wednesday’s are the least active days so I can spare a few.” 

“Well, thank you very much, uh, Tommy!” The man said, looking down at the dark purple apron the other man was wearing, the name tag pinned onto it reading ‘Tommy’. “My name’s Gordon by the way.” 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Gordon!” Tommy said as Gordon’s son approached them again.

“Wow, out of play coins already bud?” Gordon said as Joshua handed him the empty bag. Joshua nodded and signed that he wanted more but to this Gordon shook his head. “It’s getting a bit late Joshie. Don’t wanna miss dinner do we?” 

The boy looked down for a bit but nodded. 

“Don’t worry, this ol’ place isn’t going anywhere!” Tommy said, smiling. “Hope to see you again soon, Mr. Gordon and co.” 

Gordon smiled and walked out. Tommy was overall a really nice guy and Joshua seemed to really enjoy the place. Maybe they would return again soon. 

Meanwhile, Tommy returned to wiping off the arcade machine, coming across two of his regulars-- Bubby and Dr. Coomer. 

“Hey Mister Doctor Coomer!” Tommy called. 

“Hello, my boy!” The man with the mustache replied, grinning as he carefully inched the hockey puck on the pac-man themed tabletop air hockey in between the magenta lines. That wasn’t the correct way to play air hockey--that wasn’t even the point of air hockey--but Coomer looked like he was having fun so Tommy let him make up the rules. It wasn’t like the two hadn’t already broken pretty much burned every rule to the ground and remade them for every game they played.

“How is it going?” Tommy said, setting down his rag to pick up a stray skee ball and rolling it up the bright green led lined path and into the blue LED lined 40 points hole. Though he was good at the game, he could never get the ball into the 100 points hole. 

“You won’t believe what I just saw!” Bubby grumbled, knocking over his half-drunken can of Fanta to which Tommy promptly caught. “In the only decent casino around these parts, I saw a kid! What kinda establishment lets kids into a casino? They’re gonna get apple juice all over the machines!”

“Actually, this is an arcade.” Tommy said, tossing the can into a nearby trash can. The majority of the soda spills resulted from Bubby continually knocking over his soda either accidentally or on purpose much like a cat does. 

“Really? Then what’s that gambling machine over there? It shoots money out when you get the combo right.” Bubby said, gesturing to the light blue and relatively plain machine (except for the jazz cup design sticker plastered to the side of it) it in the corner.

“...the ATM?” Tommy asked, baffled. He decided not to question it and dropped the topic right then and there. He picked up a new one as he noticed the amount of play coins Bubby had. Those were more than his usual amount and Coomer didn’t break any locks to the arcade machines again. 

“Where did you get those?” 

“Pawned them off of that kid! They’re gullible!” Bubby said, cackling at his genius. 

“Dear Bubby is very smart!” Coomer said, wrapping his arm around Bubby and giving him a small pat. Tommy chuckled a bit. So that’s how Joshua managed to use all those play coins so fast. He thought back to his conversation with Gordon, smiling at his reaction to his magic trick. Usually, when he did that trick to anyone over the age of 10 they would look at him weird or just roll their eyes. It was nice to have a nice reaction. 

Hopefully, Gordon would visit again.


	2. Stamp on the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Gordon becomes a regular at the arcade, Tommy notices that he seems perpetually apprehensive. In an attempt to resolve this, he invites him to play one of the arcade games--Dance Dance Revolution!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used was Stamp On The Ground by the Italobrothers.
> 
> Drop a comment if you enjoyed this chapter!! I love reading comments :)

Fortunately, Tommy’s hopes became true as Gordon began coming around to the arcade regularly. They would chat often about the flavors of soda and sometimes about Joshua. Gordon loved to talk about his son and Tommy loved to listen to Gordon passionately ramble on about how Joshua made him a cool drawing once. Joshua even drew Tommy a couple of times, heavily using the yellow, magenta, and blue crayons to draw the colorful arcade lights.

Even when Tommy wasn’t talking, he enjoyed Gordon’s company. Sometimes the arcade, despite its hyperactive and exciting nature, got a bit boring since no one ever talked to him. Eventually, Tommy began slipping a couple of extra play coins in the coin pouch Gordon got for Joshua every visit so he could chat a bit longer. 

Though, there was something that concerned Tommy a bit. Despite how cheerful Gordon’s laughter was and how relaxed his demeanor seemed, there was still some unsettled look in his eyes like he could never relax. Tommy didn’t make eye contact often, preferring to multitask during conversations but once in a while, he would catch a glimpse of Gordon’s eyes and the slight weary and unrelaxed look in them. 

“Do you want to play- What’s your favorite arcade game?” Tommy asked, slightly surprising himself by the words that tumbled out of his mouth. Gordon looked at him in slight surprise too but then gave a small smile. 

“Well, I remember back in high school I used to play Dance Dance Revolution. I wasn’t too good at it though.” Gordon said, hand rubbing the back of his neck. Dance Dance Revolution?! The arcade had that machine as all arcades should. Tommy’s eyes lit up and he moved to untie his apron after boosting himself over the counter. 

“Well, we got some good DDR machines!” Tommy said, looked back at Gordon to follow. Gordon followed close behind Tommy, far into the labyrinth of arcade machines until they came to the corner where all the DDR machines were held. Tommy approached one of the machines and reached to take a play coin out of his pocket before remembering that he left his apron back at the counter. 

“Oh! I forgot my apron. It’s back- The play coins are in there!” Tommy exclaimed, patting his other pockets to see if there was another play coin. There wasn’t. “Sorry, Gordon. Don’t worry, I’ll be back quick!” 

“Wait! I got a play coin, I think.” Gordon said, reaching to pull out his wallet. Inside of it, along with some cards and spare dollars, was the play coin Tommy gave him the first time they talked some months ago.

Gordon pulled it out and looked at it. It was nothing unique, just the same as all of the other play coins he gave Joshua but for some reason, Gordon felt a bit nervous to give it up. Maybe it was from the fact he only had the one but at Tommy expectant gaze, he passed it over.

Tommy took the coin into his hands, the warmth from it being in Gordon’s pocket feeling like a little heartbeat. With the coin, the DDR machine sprang to life and Tommy gestured to Gordon to step up to the gamepad. 

The arrow keys lit up in magenta and teal as Gordon stepped on them and he was faced with the song choosing list. He glanced behind him and saw Tommy giving him an encouraging grin. 

With his doubts slightly resolved, he turned to the list, not recognizing any of the newer songs. It had been a while since he did anything like this so it made sense only the newer songs were on there. Gordon clicked the scroll button looking for some song he recognized. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of someone else even if the only thing that would be harmed would be his ego. His palms got clammy as he continued to scroll, the length of time it was taking feeling like hours. 

Suddenly, there was a title he recognized and Gordon swiftly clicked it, gulping as he watched the corner of the screen, waiting in anticipation for the arrows to start falling. 

He heard the first lyrics ring out:

_ Stamp on the ground. _

Gordon tensely stepped on the arrows, half-paralyzed by the fact he had an audience--Tommy. Leaving it mostly up to whatever muscle memory he had from his highschool dancing days, he was doing pretty well. He flinched when he realized that he missed an arrow and unsteadily resumed playing the game, getting more into it. 

_ Jump, jump, jump, jump. _

Tommy had begun cheering him on, bolstering Gordon’s drive to not mess up. He couldn’t mess up in front of Tommy else he probably wouldn’t be able to talk to him for at least a month from the embarrassment of failing. The level was slowly increasing in intensity so Gordon leaned back against the railing to get more leverage. 

_ Moving all around. _

At this point, Tommy’s cheers hyped up Gordon to the point where he didn’t care about winning the game so much anymore. He was already sweating, smiling, and...having a bit of fun. He saw the next two arrow keys come down and after he pressed them, he did a spin to which Tommy gave an excited cheer, applauding. Gordon briefly looked back and flashed the other man a grin, noting that Tommy had begun bouncing slightly, shifting from side to side in a little dance.

_ Tep tep da dow. _

As the song continued, Gordon got more complex with his dance moves on the gamepad, throwing in some more freestyle moves with Tommy egging him on. Gordon noted that Tommy was humming the song and he sang the next verse, prompting them to chant the next set of lyrics together. 

_ Stamp on the ground. _

Due to the high score, the machine introduced a special event mode causing arrow keys to fall across both sides. Gordon encountered this game event mode a couple of times before but he was nowhere good at it. He leaped between the two pads, the attempt at multitasking causing him to miss several notes. 

_ Jump, jump, jump, jump. _

Gordon was about to call the quits when he saw Tommy appear beside him on the other gamepad. Gordon stood there a bit stunned as Tommy leaned back against the railing and gave him a determined nod. The two began to work as a team, getting enough notes between them to keep them in the game. Gordon glanced at Tommy who was beginning to get a hang of the rhythm patterns and began throwing in a couple of freestyle moves. Gordon followed in suit, adding more daring dance moves.

_ Moving all around. _

The two were chanting out the lyrics together before Tommy grabbed Gordon’s arm and shook it slightly to get his attention. Tommy called out for them to switch and moved to Gordon’s side of the gamepad as Gordon moved to Tommy’s. Tommy’s electrical laughter lit up the air and Gordon cheered Tommy on as he did some more tricky dance moves almost but not quite missing the arrow keys. 

_ We're jumping all around. _

In the spur of the moment, Gordon grabbed Tommy’s hands and started jumping around excitedly to which Tommy followed. They were in perfect sync, hitting most of the notes without being completely focused on the screens. Tommy moved, swayed, and jumped so fluidly and in tune with the music that Gordon thought the music was passing through him and taking control of his body. 

_ Düp düp düp düp düp. _

While dancing together in place, hands still intertwined, Gordon noticed that Tommy was slightly leaning to one side, turning them off-center a bit. Gordon decided it was time to switch sides again and after exclaiming out to do so. They spun, switching sides. However, the two kept up the momentum, spinning with their hands interlocked, keeping each other balanced like a top. Gordon completely forgot about the game, instead becoming enamored with Tommy’s infectious laughter and his bright smile. Gordon felt the smile creep onto his face and realize this was the first time he felt truly relaxed and cut loose in a while. Nothing else mattered right now. There were no problems or responsibilities anymore--It was just him and Tommy.

_ Jumping all around. _

As all good things should, the game ended, leaving with a “game over” title screen. The game was only about five minutes max but it felt like so much longer like they had been doing this ever since they met. The two slowed down their dancing, laughter fading to slightly chuckles and they made their way back over to the counter. 

Gordon sat on one of the chairs and leaned on the counter as he watched Tommy pull out two cups, splashing a couple of drops of red, yellow, and blue food coloring on the sides before filling the cup with a vanilla milkshake and topping it with whipped cream. 

The colors moved slightly, creating streaks against the creamy white background provided by the milkshake itself. It looked almost too pretty for Gordon to eat but Tommy already pressed a straw in it and nudged it towards Gordon so he graciously accepted it. Tommy moved out from behind the counter, glancing slightly at Gordon before taking a seat next to him, a small smile tugging on his lips. The two sat in comfortable silence, both too tired from the game to make a conversation. 

Eventually, it was time to go and Gordon left the arcade, the problems, and responsibilities on his shoulders weighing slightly less. The lyrics of the song and the taste of the vanilla milkshake were still present on his mind but, most importantly, so was Tommy. 

A similar weight was on Tommy’s conscience. When he called to Gordon with the words “Hope to see you again!”--his signature goodbye--he meant it as something more than a formality. Tommy wasn’t sure exactly how to word the sentence so it more accurately represented his feelings as he had never been particularly good at words but eventually, the words came:

Maybe instead of “hope to see you again” it was “need to see you again”.


	3. Night Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy shows Gordon his favorite part of the arcade which is only visible when all the arcade machines are off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should comment because I love reading comments and responding to them within two business weeks. 
> 
> hehe, character dynamic go bbbbbb

Tommy decided the time he spent with Gordon was too short for his liking. He determined this during the conversation he had with Gordon today. Tommy leaned on the table, tapping his hands excitedly against the counter. The whole conversation replayed in his mind...

Gordon was sitting at his usual spot at the counter, talking to Tommy about how the arcade was run and all the logistics of it. Eventually, the conversation shifted to what Tommy liked most about the arcade, prompting him to point out all the small details he was proud of such as his cotton-candy and turquoise-blue exterior of the building and his multicolored LED palm trees he fought HOA over. 

“I don’t get- The HOA doesn’t even know all the rules! I ended up memorizing all of them.” Tommy said, prompting Gordon to let out a small laugh. 

“All of them?”

“Yep! That’s why I got to keep the trees!” Tommy said, beaming. “But that’s not my favorite part of this place!” 

“What is it, then?” Gordon asked, looking confused. He was sure it was the LED palm trees based on how hard Tommy fought to keep them. 

“My favorite part is on the ceiling!” Tommy said, outstretching his arms to gesture to the ceiling. Gordon squinted, not seeing anything. 

“What- what’s up there?” Gordon asked, confused. There was only the ventilation system and the speaker system. 

“Why, the glow in the dark stars of course!” Tommy said. Before he knew it, Tommy invited Gordon over to see the glow in the dark stars after closing time. 

...And with that, Tommy was brought back to why he was still at the arcade so late into the night. It looked a bit strange, the vibrant magenta and cyan lights against the dark night opposed to it against the daylight canvas but it was still the same place. He couldn’t sit in place though so Tommy got up and poured a rootbeer float for himself, waiting for Gordon to arrive. 

Small doubts filled his mind. Would Gordon ever come? They were friends, right? Tommy swirled the soda float around, not really interested in drinking it, and spilled it when he heard a tap against the door. He looked up and saw Gordon standing there and quickly realized that he forgot to keep the door unlocked. He hastily made his way over there and after fumbling with the lock a bit, Tommy swung open the door and invited Gordon in. 

“Hey,” Tommy said, somewhat awkwardly. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous to talk to Gordon now. They had done it a lot in the past multiple times however the difference in time and the light no longer shining inside from the outside created a totally different mood. “Huh, this place really does look like a casino at night!”

Gordon let out a small chuckle prompting an awkward smile from Tommy. 

“I can sorta see the glow in the dark stars,” Gordon commented, squinting at the ceiling, still illuminated by the iridescent lights. Suddenly, Tommy remembered why Gordon was there in the first place--to look at his stars. 

“O-oh! Right! The stars! The light I- I’ll get the lights!” Tommy said, moving to throw open the electrical box with all the switches and promptly switched them off. One by one, the lights in the arcade went off as if segments of a multi-colored city were severed from the power. Within minutes, it was pitch dark and Gordon took off his glasses to rub his eyes so they could adjust to the newfound light. He felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Are you good?” Tommy asked. 

“Yeah, my eyes haven’t focused yet though,” Gordon said as he felt a hand loosely grip above his wrist and gently tug him towards a direction. He trusted Tommy so he complied. 

“I’ll take it to you to- I’ll show you the best part! Cover your eyes so you- you won’t spoil the surprise!” Tommy said, the grin on his face visible through his voice. Gordon complied, his hand readjusting so he could get a better grip on Tommy’s hand. Tommy’s hand was warm against the cold air-conditioned arcade and he slipped his fingers between his. Though Tommy’s hands were soft, Gordon felt a slight callus on the side of his finger from years of writing probably. 

“O-okay! We’re here!” Tommy’s voice whispered excitedly. Gordon opened his eyes, seeing Tommy’s face outlined in the low light, barely visible in the dark. Then, Gordon turned his eyes to the ceiling. 

He could see why this was Tommy’s favorite part of the arcade. The glow-in-the-dark paint and plastic stars were of multiple colors, covering the ceiling in exact, precise yet chaotic swirls. It must have taken hours--no, weeks, of painting those so accurately and beautiful against the ceiling. Gordon could see the constellations, the myths corresponding to the patterns outlined around them. In addition to being beautiful, they were accurate as far as Gordon could tell. It was like he was peering into the inner-neurons of Tommy’s wonderful mind. 

While Gordon was gazing at murals, Tommy shot a small glance at him, a bit nervous because he was so quiet. He had never shown anyone his glow-in-the-dark painting as it was his personality to basically keep on the neon lights. Maybe, it wasn’t anything much to look at? The days it took to paint it weighed on his mind, saying otherwise. Maybe Gordon wasn’t saying anything because he was being polite. It was just a little art project after--

Tommy saw Gordon’s face, his vibrant green eyes almost glowing like the paint on the sky. Gordon’s mouth was slightly agape in wonder as he stared. Tommy felt a blush creep onto his face and he let out a small gasp. He never imagined that someone would even like his project--it was only stars, after all, stars that didn’t even match his neon-glow aesthetic he constantly put on.

“Huh?” Gordon asked, his gaze snapping to Tommy.

“What-?” Tommy asked, glad it was dark so Gordon couldn’t see the deep blush creeping onto his face. 

“Oh, I thought you said something,” Gordon said, letting out a small chuckle “Thank you for showing me this. I can see why it’s your favorite part of the arcade”

“Yeah! O-of course!” Tommy said, spare hand moving to the back of his head. Suddenly, he remembered something he forgot.

“What, what is it?” Gordon asked, sensing Tommy’s vibes shift. He made eye contact with the other man, seeing the pure terror in his eyes. 

“I forgot to clean up the soda I spilled!” Tommy said, shaking his head slightly as he headed back to the front desk. “Though, would you like one? A soda I mean”

“Sure” Gordon shrugged, trailing after Tommy. Once they got to the desk, Tommy passed him a rootbeer float and worked on cleaning up the spilled soda. As Gordon sipped on the float, he talked with Tommy, recounting some other aspects of the arcade. The topic of the DDR machine came up as they recounted that fun memory.

Laughing about it, Tommy felt a strange feeling of Deja Vu develop. He didn’t often get that feeling but whenever he did, he felt like something was going to happen, or at least something should happen. He looked around a bit, his vision was now sharper than before, more aware of his surroundings, yet so aware it felt like a dream. This was a similar place but a different time. It must be because he was talking to Gordon in the same place, the same way but a different time. 

“...I wouldn’t mind doing that again” Tommy heard Gordon say, his mind no longer blocking out any sounds. 

“Huh?” Tommy said, face slightly flushing from the embarrassment of not paying attention. 

“Oh- uh, I wouldn’t mind dancing with you again. In DDR, that is” Gordon said, swirling the straw around in the half-finished float. 

“Yeah! It was really fun. Uh, though, I’d have to turn on the power again which might take a while for the machine to load and-” Tommy started.

“We don’t have to play DDR to dance,” Gordon said, rather quietly, looking away.

“O-oh right! We only need music, really!” Tommy said, scrambling to find something to play music. Gordon looked up with a slight grin on his face as Tommy found a radio and turned it on. He placed it on the table, both staring at it while they scanned through radio stations, flipping through ads and static. Finally, they honed on a slightly static tune they both recognized, notes climbing from G to C to Em to D.

Tommy looked at Gordon and saw that he was humming the tune slightly. Gordon caught his eyes and gave him a smile as he extended his hand. He took his arm. Tommy didn’t know how it happened. They took the floor and he said: Shut up and dance with me, singing along with the lyrics. 

They danced together, apart, and all around. At one point, Tommy did the robot dance, prompting some laughter from Gordon, and therefore spurring further dances, getting more and more ridiculous yet fun. They sang along terribly, acting like complete fools. 

But, it was enjoyable. 

And Gordon never had something like this before. Throughout his life, even in his childhood, Gordon always was the responsible one. Even at college parties, the place to cut loose and fool around, he always found himself watching over his friends, being the responsible one to take them back to their dorms. 

But here, with Tommy, he could be irresponsible, carefree for once. He didn’t have to watch over and worry about Tommy, much like a parent would towards a child. Tommy was the responsible one, running an arcade so he could definitely handle himself.

Gordon could cut loose for once and do something stupid. And he did. 

Gordon wrapped his arms around Tommy’s waist, hosting him up and spinning him around. Tommy yelped in surprise but then started to laugh, his hands resting on Gordon’s shoulders. Then, Gordon lost his balance and fell, taking Tommy with him into a pile of giggles on the multicolor floor. 

Tommy playfully scolded him and Gordon responded by sticking out his tongue in a raspberry. They got up and danced some more, taking turns showing off their dance moves. Gordon felt his responsibilities melt away, dripping off his mind, as he didn’t have to worry about anything for now. 

Right now, everything was okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon's not having a good day and he goes to Tommy for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update! School started up again and slam dunked me into math with a C-

Gordon was stressed. Constantly. There was a reason he had grey streaks throughout his hair at age 27. Work was stressful, responsibilities were stressful, it felt like the world kept spinning despite how far he fell behind. 

It wasn’t Gordon’s turn with Joshua. Of course, that was both a blessing and a curse. He wasn’t able to see his son but it wasn’t like he could spend time with him if it was Gordon’s turn to have him. Plus, there was always the fear that Gordon would accidentally snap at him so Gordon supposed it was good that Joshua wasn’t there right now. 

That meant Gordon didn’t have to put on a brave face for his son. Pretending that everything was fine for the sake of his child. Without Joshua there, Gordon could act out however he wanted, only having himself for a witness. He didn’t have to pretend for his son; he didn’t have to pretend for himself. Gordon wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

But, he did know, for sure, that without Joshua, he had no reason or excuse to visit the arcade. Well, Gordon did have a reason, but not a good enough excuse to convince himself to go. He didn’t want Tommy to wonder where Joshua went, to wonder what happened to him during the divorce. It still remained a shameful burn mark in his heart. Because of those reasons, or the lack thereof, he hadn’t been able to talk to Tommy in a while. 

But, after today, Gordon couldn’t take it anymore. His head hurt and he felt terrible. Gordon felt he wasn’t a smart man. Despite being a graduate of MIT and working at a top research facility, he felt like an imposter, as if he was a hollow paper balloon with degrees and achievements being the only thing that kept him there, not actually learning or growing but remaining the same as another degree was pinned underneath his name. 

There wasn’t really anything anchoring Gordon to the world of responsibility. He skipped out on dinner, not having anyone else to take care of. Joshua wasn’t there and Gordon didn’t want to take care of himself. 

Gordon wasn’t stupid. He knew he needed help, whether it be from a bottle or a friend. 

He left his apartment, wandering around in a direction he did not know but felt right. He wasn’t sure how far he walked but he ended up at the arcade just as Tommy was closing up. 

Needless to say, Tommy was concerned to see Gordon in such a state. Face empty, eyes so full of conflicting emotions they were blank and just a general feeling of loss and frustration come from him. It was clear Gordon was lost and since Tommy didn’t want to leave his friend, who was clearly unwell, out, he buckled Gordon into the passenger seat of his car and drove to his house since he didn’t know where Gordon lived.

Gordon looked absentmindedly out of the window, not saying anything, instead opting to trace his eyes over the objects flying past the car window as he imagined a stick figure running over them and sliding under them. 

It was a weird feeling, being on Tommy’s couch, just sitting there doing nothing. He wasn’t sure why he was there exactly. Tommy went into the kitchen and Gordon looked around. Tommy’s house was relatively blank and plain as if it was one of those open house houses. Gordon didn’t know what he expected of the other man’s house. He knew it was definitely going to be a lot plainer than the arcade he had but he didn’t know it was going to be this plain. 

Everything was a dull, calm color like the light pastel blue couch he sat on. Gordon tired from looking around at his surroundings and leaned back slightly to peer into the kitchen. He briefly caught Tommy’s colorful shirt contrasted with the white tiled background. But, that wasn’t the only thing that stood out against the kitchen. 

It brought a small smile to Gordon’s despondent face. 

Joshua’s drawings were pinned up on Tommy’s fridge by a couple of blocky magnetic letters. Gordon briefly wondered if Tommy had any kids of his own or if he wanted them. 

Tommy came back into the room, a mug in his hand, and sat beside Gordon, handing it to him. It was hot chocolate with pink and purple bunny-shaped marshmallows floating it in. Gordon stared into the mug, watching as the bunnies swim up and down.

This was made for him. For him, specifically, and no one else. He was being the one cared for instead of being the one caring. Gordon slightly frowned as it was...different. Like, the roles were reversed. He felt like he could relax, could collapse but he was still holding onto that hint of anxiety.

Tommy noticed his frown and began to pick at the couch cushion. 

“I- Those were the only marshmallows I had, the jumbo bunny ones. I could make you another one!” Tommy said, concerned. Gordon shook his head, taking a sip from the mug. It wasn’t too hot to drink and it was nice. It left a warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart as the almost too sweet sugar melted in his mouth. 

With his adrenaline wearing off, Gordon realized how tired he felt. He hadn’t really slept well for the past couple of nights but he didn’t want to fall asleep on Tommy’s couch. He slightly leaned to the left and shot back up when he realized that he was still holding a liquid beverage. 

Tommy chucked a bit and outstretched his hands to take the drink from Gordon and place it on the table. Gordon sat there, his face a bit flushed from the almost disastrous mistake he could have spilled. He looked towards Tommy, expecting to see the other man look back but Tommy was still staring straight ahead. Gordon turned his head forward to see what Tommy was looking at, both of them remaining like that for a couple of seconds. 

Then, Gordon felt a soft hand wrap around his back and rest on his shoulder, gently leading him to lean on Tommy’s shoulder. He heard Tommy’s breathing increase a bit.

“Is, is this okay?” Tommy whispered, his hand now hovering above Gordon’s shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Gordon said quietly, nodding. Tommy took in a slightly-shaky breath.

“You seem tired,” Tommy said, softly tracing a circle with his thumb between Gordon’s shoulder blades in a comforting motion. Gordon let out a small “mhm” and nodded. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Tommy mumbled softly a while later, his hand weaving through Gordon’s hair to tenderly scratch the back of Gordon’s head. It was...comforting.

With a sob crawling up the back of his throat, words started to spill out, his tears delivering the thoughts and concerns of his mind outwards and putting it on display. He buried his face into Tommy’s chest, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt as Tommy wrapped his arms around him. Like that putty made out of cornstarch and water, Gordon fell apart in Tommy’s arms which held him so stably. 

It was barely audible but Gordon heard Tommy whisper a small “I love you”. It nearly broke Gordon. Gordon was so useless, weak, and pathetic at this time yet Tommy held him within his arms, telling him he was still, still loved. Loved, valued, and cared for. Gordon was always thought he had to be independent but sometimes when needed, you can trust and depend on someone else. Gordon practically melted into his arms, Tommy shushed him softly, comforting him until Gordon’s sobs mellowed down. In his arms, he was safe and sound.

Tommy looked down at Gordon, tired and drowsy after the cry. Tommy placed a small kiss on Gordon’s forehead, gently hoisting the other man onto his feet. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” Tommy murmured. It’d be rude to leave Gordon to sleep on the couch. Tommy brought Gordon to one of the unused guest rooms and sat him down on the side of the bed. This room was technically Sunkist’s room but Sunkist always exclusively slept at the foot of Tommy’s bed so Tommy thought Gordon wouldn’t mind. Tommy took Gordon glasses off and set them on the dresser right next to the UFO lamp. While he wished he could get Gordon into something a bit more comfortable, he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so Tommy opted to just remove Gordon’s shoes and whatever was in his pockets. 

Tommy then wrapped his arms around Gordon, encouraging him to settle into the sheets by lying him down. Tommy tried to sit up after that but Gordon wrapped his arms around him, keeping him there. 

“Don’t go, please.” Tommy heard Gordon mumble softly. 

“I, you gotta get your rest,” Tommy said, face flushed.

“Tommy, please?” Gordon mumbled. Tommy deliberated for a moment but eventually, fatigue and the calling warmth of the bed convinced him to stay with Gordon. Tommy nodded and mumbled a quiet “okay”. He rolled over and settled on the other side of the bed closer to Gordon than he would ever imagine he would be. He was only going to stay for a bit though, just until Gordon fell asleep. 

That was a lie and Tommy fell asleep faster than Gordon did, arms still wrapped around him.


	5. Chapter 5

Gordon woke up way later than he expected. His alarm didn’t go off so he probably slept through it, again. He cracked open his eyes, reaching over to get his glasses but he noticed his surroundings were very different. Gordon felt someone warm hugging him from behind and when he began to shuffle a bit more, he heard a familiar voice give a small, groggy groan and froze.

“Tommy?” Gordon asked, dumbfounded, his face heating up in surprise? Concern? Embarrassment? Confusion? Gordon must have woken him up. 

“...huh?” Tommy asked, still in the process of waking up, before suddenly retracting his arms and flinging himself as far away from Gordon as he possibly could which wasn’t that far because Sunkist was taking up pretty much the rest of the bed. He was now fully awake, heart beating fast. “O-oh!” 

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Guh, uh, Gordon!” Tommy stammered. Gordon didn’t even need to look at the other man to tell that his face was covered in a deep blush. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- I was planning to sleep somewh-”

“Where are my glasses? Tommy?” Gordon asked politely, cutting Tommy off. It seemed to calm Tommy down a bit now that he didn’t have to stutter out an explanation as to what happened. That would come later. 

“On the- the dresser next to the UFO lamp...thing,” Tommy said, shifting uncomfortably. Oh no, he was supposed to explain this to Gordon...if he was even given a chance to explain. He really hoped this wouldn’t come in between their friendship but then again, how do you even explain waking up with your arms wrapped around someone? Tommy really shouldn’t have trusted that he wouldn’t fall asleep. He started to pick at the blanket, trying to calm himself down before Gordon hit him with the question.

Gordon looked at Tommy, obviously very frazzled. Tommy was still babbling out filler words, not really saying anything while he picked at the edge of the blanket. Hell, he looked more confused and worried about the situation than Gordon who didn’t even remember a thing. Well, he did remember something about rabbits? Regardless, if he was ever gonna find out what happened, he needed to get Tommy to calm down. Maybe some breakfast would help? What did people usually have for breakfast? Cereal?

“Do you have any eggs?” Gordon asked, prompting Tommy to open his mouth to explain, pause to process what was actually asked, and then promptly shut it. The confusion was apparent on his face as he clearly did not expect that question. Though, as weird as it sounded, it did sorta snap Tommy out of his panicked state.

“Eggs? For like omelets?” Tommy asked slowly as if he was trying to make sure he didn’t hear the question wrong.

“Yeah, for like omelets,” Gordon confirmed. Tommy nodded, moving to get out of the bed to lead Gordon to the kitchen. Gordon sat at the table and anxiously tapped his knuckles against the tabletop. 

A click of the stove snapped Gordon out of his panicked state and he realized that he could relax. There wasn’t a timer on anything here; it was like Tommy’s house was a space where time simply didn’t exist. He unclenched his jaw with a sigh and looked around the kitchen. The walls were covered in a light yellow wallpaper with columns of flower patterns dotting along the side of it. The thin slice of light shone against the row of handmade ceramic mugs on a shelf. Gordon smiled at the mugs. Tommy was likely good at making mugs and most likely improved a lot seeing that the one with a little clay Sunkist on it (most likely the first one) was a little lopsided but the rest gradually got more complex with designs of tulips and clowns. 

Even though this was his friend’s house, it felt a bit like home. On most days, Gordon got up before the sun did, rushing to get to work in a grey landscape. However, right now, basking in the golden light of the morning in the house of a friend who was a golden ray in his life. He appreciated the morning. He appreciated Tommy. 

Gordon felt something brush against his leg and he looked down to see Sunkist. Sunkist gave a smile and Gordon pet the dog’s golden fur. Sunkist then moved away from Gordon and looked back, signaling that Gordon should follow. Gordon followed Sunkist into the kitchen and Tommy turned back to him with a smile. 

“Hey again,” Gordon said with a shy smile. 

“Hi. Sor-sorry for the rude awakening,” Tommy said as he poured the egg onto the pan filling the room with a sizzling sound. Tommy seemed to calm down a bit. He turned down the flame and turned to Gordon. “You’re looking a lot better today than you did yesterday. Sleep really does help.” 

“Uh, thanks, Tommy,” Gordon said. “Need any help?”

“Oh, uh,” Tommy started, a bit startled by the question. He felt a little flustered. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I would. Thank you, Gordon”

A while later, Gordon found himself sitting at the table again except this time with Tommy on the other side. 

“So, uh, what happened?” Gordon asked. “I hope I didn’t say anything too stupid.” 

“You didn’t! How- how could you say anything stupid? You have a PhD,” Tommy said with a chuckle. That got a small smile from Gordon. “But, yeah, you looked really upset and you showed up to the arcade right as I was closing and I didn’t want to just leave you there! And, I didn’t know where you lived so I just brought you back here. You didn’t really say anything but I tried to comfort you and I fell asleep.”

Gordon let out a slight hum in response, acknowledging the statement. 

“I, I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries though!” Tommy said looking at Gordon with concern.

“No, you didn’t,” Gordon said. “I- well, I kinda needed it. It’s been a while since I’ve hugged anyone other than Joshie of course.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. Hugs are enjoyable though so if you ever need another one, my arms are open!” Tommy said, throwing his hands outwards in an overexaggerated and silly way. 

“Thank you,” Gordon said with a chuckle. He wouldn’t mind another hug. The two chatted for a bit before Gordon had to get going. Tommy led him out of the kitchen but then quickly stopped in the middle of the living room to pick up a mug on the coffee table. 

“Ah- I forgot- I left the hot chocolate out!” Tommy said apologetically, picking up the mug. Gordon glanced at the half-dissolved rabbit marshmallows floating on the top. Oh, so that’s why he remembered rabbits. 

As Tommy drove Gordon back, Gordon watched him affectionately. Tommy kept the radio off, instead opting to hum random tunes and chorus of songs which came to his mind. It was like Tommy already had a radio playing in his head. 

Before Gordon knew it, he was at the steps of his house. 

“Thanks for the ride, Tommy,” Gordon said with a smile. He didn’t really want to go inside even though it was cold outside. He wanted to spend more time with Tommy.

“No problem! I just hope that my humming was too obnoxious. It helps me focus on the road.”

“It wasn’t. I actually kinda liked it. See if I could recognize the tune you were humming.”

“Like a game of i-spy but with songs,” Tommy said, making the comparison. 

“Yeah!” Gordon said, chuckling a bit. He looked at Tommy calmly, a smile on his face. Tommy was looking towards the ground, fumbling with the watch on his wrist. Tommy was clearly debating something. 

“Uh- I’ll, I’ll see you later then, Gordon,” Tommy said, slightly lifting up his arms to suggest a goodbye-hug. Gordon grinned, fully-heartily accepting the suggestion and hugging Tommy close. Despite the weather being cold outside, the warmth of the hug seemed to cancel all that out. 

“Lemme k-know if you have- need anything!” Tommy said, waving from his car after they broke the hug. Gordon nodded and waved as Tommy drove away.

Gordon stepped into his house with a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. He flicked on the lights and leaned against the shut door with a smile on his face. He was thankful for Tommy. Gordon let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around himself as if to give himself a hug.

He still felt the warmth of the hug Tommy gave him. It made his heart giddy and calm.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn’t long before Gordon saw Tommy again. Once again, it was around the end of the day when the arcade was about to close. The lights were still on inside and Gordon knocked on the main door. 

He got no response so he tried opening the door, noting it was unlocked. 

“Tommy?” Gordon said, causally stepping inside. He looked around to see that the arcade was expectantly empty as it was a couple of minutes past the closing time. Gordon walked through the empty rows of vibrant arcade machines, the place feeling like half of it was missing. The lights and machines were energetic yet the empty rows remained still. It was a bit unnerving, being alone. 

“...Gordon?” A voice full of confusion called softly. Gordon turned around to see Tommy looking at him confused with a baseball bat in hand. 

“Oh- oh, Tommy!” Gordon said, stepping back slightly. Tommy lowered the baseball bat and his expression shifted from confused to concerned. 

“Are- are you okay? D-did something happen?” Tommy asked quietly as if he was trying to tell Gordon a secret despite the fact they were the only ones there. This situation was rather similar to the last time Gordon came to visit. Did something happen at Gordon’s work again? 

“I’m fine,” Gordon said with a chuckle. Tommy relaxed a bit at that. “How are you?”

“I’m, I’m doing good. Uh, w-what are you doing here though? Not- not that I’m not happy to see you!” 

“I just wanted to see you and maybe hang out. If you’re not busy of course,” Gordon said, a nervous smile on his lips. 

“Oh, of course!” Tommy said, smiling back. “It- But next time- uh, oh. I realized, I never gave you my number, huh? Uh- I, I can do that now! Let’s go!.” 

Tommy rushed off, stopping soon after to turn back to Gordon to signal for him to follow. Tommy leaped over the soda counter and landed with a smile. 

“You like doing that, huh?” Gordon commented while taking a seat at the counter. Tommy nodded, returning with some canned sodas. He set them down on the table with a small slam and silently held out his hand for Gordon’s phone. 

Gordon passed over his phone and looked at Tommy. Tommy flashed him a smile and looked down to the phone, brow slightly furrowed as he typed in his number. A small phone chime was heard and Tommy passed back Gordon’s phone, pulling out his own. Gordon looked at the message Tommy sent and saw that it said “hey tommy it’s u from gordons phone”. Gordon smiled at the message and typed “Hey Tommy, it’s Gordon from Gordon’s phone”. Another phone chime was heard and Tommy grinned at the message. 

“Wanna go outside?” Tommy asked as he picked up the soda cans, not waiting for an answer. Gordon obliged and followed Tommy outside. 

“So, where do you wanna sit?” Gordon asked, looking around as Tommy locked up the building. There wasn’t really anywhere extraordinary to sit, just the desolate parking lot under the orange lit streetlights. 

“Follow me!” Tommy said, chuckling. He had a mischievous look in his eye and he led the way to the side of the building. Tommy then fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the side door with the staircase to the top of the building. 

Gordon’s breath quickened and his heart filled with excitement. The two scurried up the metal stairs much like mice sneaking through a room. The stairways were dark, only being lit by Tommy’s phone light. Gordon could only see the outlines of the stairs and the next step in front of him. How long it was made him almost want to turn back but he trusted Tommy and and followed without hesitation. 

The door to the roof swung open and they stepped out from the stuffy hallway up, inhaling the crisp, cold air of the night. Gordon blinked, his eyes adjusting to the vibrant city lights of the multicolored landscape. Tommy tapped him on the shoulder, motioning for him to take a seat on one of the brick stacks. 

Gordon took a seat next to him and Tommy handed him a soda. The two sat staring out into the electrical jungle of glowing lights reflecting off the dark walls of night, simply enjoying each other's company. Knowing that even though the world is so large, they weren’t alone in it. 

Tommy sipped his soda, feeling the sting of it on his tongue and looked towards Gordon. Gordon was looking towards the sky in a comfortable wonder. The neon lights of the city outlined his face beautifully. Tommy stared at him affectionately, wanting to commit this moment and this feeling to his memory forever. 

Despite the cold weather, he had a warm feeling inside of him. The excitement and wonder running through their hearts were enough to warm them. Though, that wasn’t to say warmth was unwelcome. Tommy scooched closer to Gordon, basking in the warmth radiating off of Gordon’s body. It was like the sunlight of a crisp summer day. Gordon felt a blush creep onto his face when Tommy leaned his head against his shoulder. Gordon leaned back into Tommy, the warmth from his heart and Tommy being all that he needed. 

“So, whaddya think?” Tommy said, a hint of excitement in his voice as if he just revealed a secret hiding spot which this technically was. Gordon smiled to himself. He wasn’t sure how to describe what he was feeling exactly. He was feeling the feeling of wonder? Words were created to explain situations and convey information but this was a feeling that didn’t have a word to it. It was like the flavor of birthday cake: universal yet personal. This feeling couldn’t even be explained through science or chemical reactions. It was deeper than the random motions of electrons in the atoms of the universe; it was like an unexplained universal gravitational attraction pulling everything together, holding Tommy and Gordon close to each other. 

“I’m not really sure how to describe it. It’s almost as cool as your glow in the dark ceiling stars,” Gordon chuckled. He felt Tommy smile. 

“Yeah, I almost wish the lights and the stars could coexist. The light pollution usually drowns them out. Some are still up there though, like the North star,” Tommy said, pointing to a faint glow up in the sky. Gordon hummed in acknowledgement. 

“I’ve thought about taking out the city’s power supply,” Tommy added quietly, a playful tone strung through his words. “But, it really does get you wondering.” 

“About what?” Gordon asked.

“About the future. Or what could’ve happened.”

Gordon thought a lot about what could have happened or how things could have been different. There’s a lot of choices in the world and each one leads to a cascade of different choices with unforeseen consequences. If he chose to go to a different college would he still be here? What would he have? What would he lose? It was a bit overwhelming to think about. Everyone had choices and these choices had a domino effect on his world. Hell, even his existence was the result of a shaky pile of choices. It was luck that Gordon was able to meet Tommy but somehow it felt like it was almost meant to be. The fragility of their meeting and the for-sureness of their time together was an odd contrast, similar to the strength of glass. Glass was hard yet could easily be broken or shattered. Glass was also technically a liquid, slowly changing overtime, much like relationships. Gordon shuttered at the thought that despite how solid this felt, something could happen, shattering it at any moment. 

“You know,” Tommy started up thoughtfully. “I almost didn’t open an arcade. It- I was originally going to open a bar. S-so, people would take me seriously. But I’m glad I didn’t. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it that much.” 

“Yeah,” Gordon said, quietly in acknowledgment. Oh, how different it would have been if he had done that. Time passes; it feels too long and too short at the same time but eventually Tommy stands up, his shoulder cracking while he stretches. 

“Wanna get dinner?” Tommy asks, looking towards Gordon. Gordon smiled, the neon lights of the city outlining his face. He hadn’t eaten yet but he wasn’t really hungry either. It was like being with Tommy fulfilled his basic human needs. Besides, the question Tommy asked wasn’t really about dinner; it was more like a reason why Gordon should spend more time with him. It was a request, asking softly to continue their adventure. 

And, of course, Gordon accepted. They ended up at the local 7/11, the only place open this early in the morning. They didn’t really buy food, only getting the large slushies which were an acknowledged cold in their hands, sorta like the static-prickly feeling that occurs in limbs when they’re laid on for a little too long. As they talked outside underneath the neon sign, it felt like that moment of enjoyment would be infinite. There was no more time, there was nothing else, it was just them standing beneath the lights of the never-changing light of the convenience store talking about everything. There was nothing to hint that time was changing or moving on without them other than the change in the pointless numbers on the screen. They weren’t tired, cold or hungry because all of those other feelings were nullified by the simple feeling of love and wonder.

Gordon was taken out of his rigid daily schedule. Before he was simply an employee, not really knowing himself or others outside of the basic information like his name and credit card number. It was like he lived to work and he didn’t really care what he was outside of work simply because there wasn’t enough time to consider that. But now, taken out of the deadlines and time, Gordon realized that he is a person and that time didn’t really matter in the larger sense of things. He’s alive and here with Tommy who was standing right next to him, chuckling at his jokes and talking about his hobbies. They swapped drinks a couple times to get a taste of the other flavored slushie with Tommy one time trying to combine both of the flavors at once. 

But the never ending moment of wonder and excitement did eventually come to an end as the responsible adult within them begrudgingly said they should get to bed since the colors of the sky were fading in. The sky was light grey by the time they collapsed into Tommy’s bed in exhaustion. 

Gordon woke up to Sunkist nudging his face with a whine. Sunkist had decided that she wanted breakfast although it was nowhere near breakfast time. Gordon groaned in slight annoyance as he was never really a morning person. She nudged his glasses towards him so he could see without bothering Tommy too much. The sunlight filtered in dimly through the dinosaur curtains to slightly shine on Tommy’s hair. Still asleep, his arms were lazily thrown around Gordon and his hair was a mess. Gordon smiled at the sight, his heart swelling as his throat swelled a bit as tears slightly prickled his eyes. The feeling of love and care was almost overwhelming. Gordon placed his glasses on the nightstand and sighed before moving closer to Tommy and snuggling into the warmth, pulling the blanket over both of them. Before he drifted back off into a comfortable sleep, a small, peculiar yet true thought entered his mind:

Oh, I like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome, my first multi-chapter fic is complete! Hope you enjoyed the read ghhsdhg


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